Baked some iPhone cookies to trick cops into pulling me over, then I just take a bite and ask if cookies are against the law.
is this the softcore version of fuck the police
You know you’ve fallen in love with a boy band when you enjoy watching a 2 minute video of them eating food and cutting watermelon with no subs
if you ever think that you’ve made a big mistake, just remember that in 1788 the Austrian army attacked itself and lost 10,000 men
"so ma’am, how would you like to pay today? cash or check?"
literally just destroy my laptop when I die, don’t even try to clear my history just destroy it
The Sim version of yourself is everything you want to be
There is so many things I want to learn that’s not school related but i never feel like I have that much time to because I spend over 8 hours a day learning about a lot of irrelevant things
HOW DO PPL JUST GET CONTINUOUS ANONS THROUGHOUT THE DAY I DON’T UNDERSTAND IS THERE SOME KIND OF TUTORIAL OR CHEAT CODE THAT I DON’T KNOW
idk why people flip their shit over wanting a gay disney prince when the idea of lesbian princesses is like 10000000 times more hella
why do people get so mad about puns? they’re literally the nicest kind of humor. they make nobody feel bad. it’s just clever. sometimes it’s original. learn to like puns. don’t let society run your life
Some may not admit it, but 99% of the anger people experience after a good pun comes from the fact that they didn’t think of it first.
IS NO ONE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE SONG GAYLE SANG IN THE NEWEST EPISODE OF BOBS BURGERS OMG